Guest Post - PK Hrezo - Editing

Editing

 

by PK Hrezo

When I first started out writing novels, I knew very little about story editing. It wasn’t til someone pointed out my sloppy style that I realized I had fewer skills than I thought. You mean there’s more to writing stories than just making stuff up??

Oy. Totally clueless.

I bought my first writing guides ever: Self Editing for Fiction Writers, and The First Five Pages. And boy did my writerly world shift. That was about five years ago. Since then, I’ve devoured multiple writing guides, written seven novel length stories, and exchanged critiques with some very talented authors. This has helped me develop the editing methods I use today.

Most of you probably have your own methods by now, but it’s always interesting to see how others work, and adapt new techniques here and there. I draft fast, without looking back (as tempting as it is) and wait a bit before reading what I’ve got. For my first read-through, I use Word so I can clean up sentences here and there while I focus on plot, characterization, and big story issues.

Afterwards, I leave it alone for a few days, then send it to my Kindle and read it as I would any story I just downloaded. This is the biggest help to me. I catch so many things I didn’t see the first time around. If you can’t send it to a tablet, change the font on your manuscript and re-read it that way.

I have checklists I use after this second round of edits, and I’ll leave you one of them at the bottom of this post. After using these checklists to dig deeper into my story and characters, I go back through the story again and deepen the point of view, weed out extra words and flowery prose, and add as much voice as I can to mundane sentences.

Then, it’s off to my trusty CPs, and later, to various beta readers. I try to find at least one new beta reader for each new story. Fresh eyes are extremely helpful. I should add, I do my own editing, but I did hire a proof-reader for my self-published book, Butterman (Time) Travel, Inc. My CPs are very skilled and amazing at what they do, so I really get the benefit of a content editor when they read my work.

With sci-fi stories, as you know, there’s an extra element for consistencies and technology plausibility, so I also seek out scientific-minded beta readers to pick out any issues there.

In regards to setting, since that’s a big element in sci-fi, here’s some food for thought: How does the setting affect your character’s movements and experiences? Have you revealed the setting through character reaction, instead of simply describing it? Try having your characters manhandle the props to enhance the setting as well as character emotion.

Here’s a story checklist I acquired from somewhere on the Web, so I apologize for not being able to give credit to who it came from. These are valuable points of interest:

1. How can I make the protagonist likeable or at least relatable?

2. Are both the protagonist and the antagonist extraordinary in some way?

3. Do they both care passionately about something?

4. Is what they care about at the heart of their opposition?

5. Is the antagonist just as strong or even stronger than the protagonist and just as compelling or intriguing?

6. Do all the main characters have genuine flaws and eccentricities?

7. Is there opposition between what the protagonist wants, her external goal, and what she needs, her internal goal?

8. Is the protag going to experience a change of fortune: from good fortune to bad, from bad fortune to good, from good to bad to good, from bad to good to bad?

9. How can I use the setting and season to make the situation worse for the protag?

10. How can I make the setting more interesting and challenging?

11. Are the protag and antag struggling within a situation readers haven't seen before?

12. How can I elevate the concept?

13. What extra coolness factor can I add?

14. What twist can I add to make this unusual?

15. Are there logical connections between characters, plot, and theme(s)?

16. Is the theme universal?

17. Does the protag's struggle exploit a universal fear?

18. Are there high stakes--terrible consequences--if the protag fails?

19. Does she have to make an impossible choice or sacrifice that will make her pay personally before she can win against the antag?

20. How can I provide a test at the beginning of the manuscript to show off the trait the protag needs to change before she can win?

21. What makes her the way she is, and how can I show that to make her initial failure understandable and relatable?

22. How can I make the stakes even higher at every turning point while keeping them relatable?

23. Have I got enough of a coolness or fun factor in the mid section to sell the premise and carry the second act?

24. How do I keep the protag in conflict between two emotions so she has to fight to resolve her feelings?

25. How can I exploit the situation and main conflict to force the characters to make active choices?

26. How can I limit each of the character’s choices to force them to choose between something bad and something worse, force them into bad decisions, or push them into doing what they least want to do?

27. How can I make characters behave in the most unexpected way that fits within their motivation, personality type, and background?

28. How do I introduce a new conflict before resolving an existing one?

29. What danger can I keep threaten, what information can I promise, what expected emotional crisis, confrontation, loss, or decision can I foreshadow to keep the reader eager to read?

30. How can I push an expected outcome into an unexpected direction?

31. Before the climax, how do I make it clear why the antagonist is the way he is, and how do I make him sympathetic?

32. How can I apply lessons the protag has learned and show her character growth in the climax in a way that will echo the test she failed at the beginning?

33. How do I make it clear enough why she has changed enough to choose differently than she did in the initial test?

34. Can I make every conflict in a subplot real and hard to overcome?

35. How do I resolve all the subplots and weave them together more tightly?

36. How do I show the arcs for each of the main characters?

37. How do I most smoothly deliver all the missing information before the climax scene?

38. How can I the climax the toughest challenge in the manuscript?

39. How can I make the resolution truly satisfying?

40. How do I make sure I've kept my covenant with the reader?

If you need more checklists or worksheets, let me know and I’d be happy to forward them on. I’ve collected quite a few over the years.

I’ve also found that reading a very well written novel prior to going through final edits on my story, helps me really put on the polish and make it shine.

How about you? Any tried and true techniques you’d like to share on editing?

PK Hrezo is the author of Butterman (Time) Travel, Inc., a new adult sci-fi romance, and Fearless Fiction blogger at http://pk-hrezo.blogspot.com

She can be found on Twitter at @pkhrezo

And Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/authorpkhrezo

Sci-Fi Traditions & Thoughts

Hi there, how's everyone today?

This week, the third book in my RECAST series was released from Samhain Publishing.

 

SHIVER is the story of a captured gladiator forced to fight for survival, and what happens when he gets the chance to escape imprisonment. Except, he ends up getting caught in a different kind of trap. Well, there are actually two: the bloodthirsty change coming over him, and being captured by a different kind of crazy.

 

During NaNoWriMo I actually wrote the fourth instalment of this series, and couldn't help wondering where my love of Science Fiction began...

 

I know it started with Star Wars. I was just a kid when I watched the first movie, but it always stuck. I fell in love with the innocent Luke, and the cheeky pirate, Han. Not to mention that I thought Leia was the best kind of princess. Plus all those different planets and ships and aliens... Wow. It's amazing how much of an impression the original Star Wars trilogy had on me. And so began an interest in a variety of Sci-Fi shows from the 70s and 80s: Space: 1999, Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers, Land of the Giants, V, and so on.

 

And that's where tradition comes in. Every year on Christmas Day my husband, daughter and I sit down to watch Star Wars Episode 4-6 in a row. It's always a blast. No matter how many times I watch these movies, I still love them. You know what's super awesome about sharing them this way? That my daughter also loves them. I think it's important that young girls realise Science Fiction is a genre for all of us, not just the guys.

 

It's no wonder I love telling Sci-Fi stories. And like a lot of the anime that I've enjoyed seems to do, I add an edge of darkness and even sprinkle a little supernatural into the mix. ;)

 

Thanks for reading,

Yolanda  

 

SHIVER is now available:

Samhain Publishing | Kindle | NOOK Book | iTunes

RECAST SERIES
 

Check out the RECAST page for more info.



Meet the #Author - Eva Caye

 

Please tell us a bit about yourself:

I'm a Hoosier (from the U.S. state of Indiana) and have been writing since high school as a hobby, simply attending writers groups, workshops, and conferences when I could.  I've been an avid science fiction and fantasy reader since 1980, when my political science professor assigned us the first three books of Asimov's Foundation series to discuss such concepts as balance of powers.

I began seriously writing because of my clinical depression.  During a crisis in June 2010, I was lying in bed in a darkened room and figured I was already dead, utterly unable to tolerate 'real life'.  The thought occurred to me that, since the 'old me' was dead but I still had possession of a body, I could build my life anew.

For some reason, I wondered what I would do if I won the lottery, as if that stands for, 'anything is possible'.  Since I had always wanted to be a scientist, I began having conversations between the person I was (high school teacher of inner-city kids whose problems were so vast I gave and gave and gave until I crashed), and the person I wanted to be (engineer/physicist).  The dialogues grew so thick, I got out of bed and began writing them down!  Then I developed them into characters, they took over my imagination, and I wrote the rough drafts of the first four books of the To Be Sinclair series in 80 days.

It was perhaps my third book when I began to feel like I had some kind of 'wormhole' in my mind to a future parallel dimension.  Although I've never been a visual person, I was seeing my characters in actual scenes, and I consider myself their 'scribe', not their goddess.  How so?  When you decide you don't like what you've written and rewrite it, but go to bed and the characters act out the scene over and over again until you get up at god-awful o'clock to change it back, you realize you don't have a lot of control over the story!

Tell us about Nobility:

Nobility is about Prince Matthieu Sinclair, the Heir Second to his grandfather Emperor Victor and his father Prince Zhaiden.  This is very much a new adult novel, beginning with Matthieu at age 20, having finished his Service training cycles.  It moves through two years of his Imperial duties, tours of Service, secret missions, a diplomatic mission that breaks his heart, and above all, the search for a lady who could handle being his Empress someday. 

 

What inspired you to write this particular story?

The big question my series answers is, "What will the greatest ruling family in the history of the galaxy be like?"  Dignity and Majesty detail the romance and first years of marriage of the Emperor and Empress of the Sinclair Demesnes, a four-planet polity, and the other books are about individual children, which is why they have different psychological flavors to them. 

Matthieu will be the Emperor of his generation, and I've always felt that (historically) a strong hereditary ruler's influence will usually run to their grandchildren, but not much beyond.  I've also noticed that a lot of people in my life have been more influenced by their grandparents than by their parents.  Matthieu will be the strongest Emperor of them all, but I primarily wanted to show how the major influences of his life shape him when he is still quite young.

Please share a favourite snippet from your book:

After inspecting the rabbits in their hutches and the pheasant hatchery, Matthieu led her further along the cliff to a small grotto, set rather high, while describing how the former Imperial Preserve had had a beautiful glen and grotto.

Miriel pointed. “What is that?”

Matthieu reached in to draw out a gilded crystal angel. “At the old grotto, family members had several items they placed there for symbolic reasons. It was kind of like the heart of the realm in a sense, representing our hopes and dreams. Aunt Sophia had a gilded angel there to declare the space sacred.” He let her examine it before putting it back in its spot.

When he turned back to her, she looked very thoughtful. “What is sacred?”

“In general?”

“No. To you,” Miriel specified.

Matthieu reached out to cup her face. “The joy I saw as you rode that horse.” Moving closer, he gazed at her stunned expression and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers to murmur, “The power, the purity of your mind and spirit.”

He kissed her gently while wrapping his arms around her. “The gift of your presence,” he whispered, looking into her soulful eyes while he smoothed back her hair. He gave her a deeper kiss as she melted in his arms.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he said very softly, “Miriel.”

“Yes?”

His gentle laugh came from some deep reservoir of joy he had long forgotten. “I just wanted to say your name. Miriel. It almost sounds like the word ‘miracle’ to me.” She erupted in giggles, then. Matthieu drank them in with a bliss that knew no bounds.

“I’m sorry, but I cannot think of a corresponding word for your name. ‘Matthieu’ doesn’t even come close to anything. Pathew? Wrathew? Hathew? Sorry,” she apologized again as he snorted in amusement.

Matthieu’s mindfulness, down to his very soul, was captured when she put her hand to his face. “How about just ‘you’?” As he blinked, she said, “You. You.” Then Miriel kissed him back.

He felt like he was the center of the universe, at this pinpoint of time and space and lips, as if the knowledge of the cosmos was his for the asking. This was the miracle, indeed, the ability to pull the subtle energies of an otherwise indifferent world into the realm of matter and light, to shower them upon another. This was love.

Which comes first for you – a character's looks, personality or name?:

Personality, definitely. That's what the story is about, how a character moves from a limited perspective to a greater perspective, and how they react to that growth, the changes they must make. I rarely describe much of a character's looks. Names can be rather difficult to choose; sometimes I look up the meanings of names, but most often I just pick someone I admire.

Any tips for aspiring authors?:

If you are going to invest time in writing a story, make it worthy of your attention for the rest of your life. Don't follow the fads; follow your heart, because you will be promoting it, day in and day out, forever. Hacking out a story because you think it will be easy or because it's trendy might get you a number of sales, but if you can imagine yourself at 80 years of age, reviewing your literary output, you will want to say you are proud of each story, that the goals of the protagonist and intent or theme of the story reflect issues that matter.

Upcoming news and plans for the future?

I have also finished 2/3 and 1/2 of two prequels, set some 150 years in our future but some 500 years in the 'past' as compared to the series.  I consider those novels to be science fiction, not science fiction romance; there are relationships that develop, but they are not the focus of the stories.  

I do not plan any other novels after Nobility's companion novel, the finale to the series, Morality.  First, because I have to finish my prequels; second, because I have other projects I want to get to; and third, because this finale is breaking my heart to write!  Nine books covering three generations is surely sufficient, wouldn't you say?

Otherwise, the first four books of the series (Dignity, Majesty, Fealty, and Royalty) are now available as print-on-demand through Amazon, and I should have the other four set up by Christmas!  

Blurb for Nobility:

Prince Matthieu Sinclair, the Heir Second, has many duties; he must not only take space duty in the Service, he also establishes the Imperial Protocol Academy to educate the multitude of Imperial youngsters in the basics of their lifestyle, since he will be the Emperor of their generation. Yet to find a lady who could withstand the pressures of being his Empress is a formidable task! 

When he returns from an undercover assignment to find disaster, Matthieu subsumes his needs in order to minimize the stress on his family, for they are more important than anything else. Yet when a diplomatic mission goes wrong and his strongest role model dies, who will help him cope with the tragedy? 

Book length: approximately 200,000 words 

NOBILITY is the official book 7 of the To Be Sinclair series, yet like the others is a good stand-alone novel. An add-on book, Evan's Ladies, consists of four novellas that take place before NOBILITY. Check out the To Be Sinclair series at Amazon and Smashwords:

http://www.amazon.com/Eva-Caye/e/B009F50NF8 and 

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/evacaye

Series website:  http://www.evacaye.com/ 

Blog (The Spiraling Mind):  http://evacaye.blogspot.com/

Find me at https://twitter.com/EvaCaye

and https://www.facebook.com/eva.caye

 

 

SFRB Recommends #7: Hope's Folly #scifi #romance #scifirom

I’ve recently read Linnea Sinclair’s novel Hope’s Folly. Twice. I tend to do that when I really love a book, getting details I missed the first time around. Here's the blurb.

Admiral Philip Guthrie is in an unprecedented position: on the wrong end of the law, leading a ragtag band of rebels against the oppressive Imperial forces. Or would be if he can get his command ship—the derelict cruiser called Hope’s Folly—functioning. Not much can rattle Philip’s legendary cool—but the woman who helps him foil an assassination attempt on Kirro Station will. She’s the daughter of his best friend and first commander—a man who died while under Philip’s command and whose death is on Philip’s conscience.

Rya Bennton has been in love with Philip Guthrie since she was a girl. But can her childhood fantasies survive an encounter with the hardened man, and newly minted rebel leader, once she learns the truth about her father’s death? Or will her passion for revenge put not only their hearts but their lives at risk? It’s an impossible mission: A man who feels he can’t love. A woman who believes she’s unlovable. And an enemy who will stop at nothing to crush them both.

This book is the third of Linnea Sinclair's Dock Five series, but it is a stand-alone novel. You don't need to have read the previous two books, even though that is where Philip Guthrie first appears. In fact, although I quite enjoyed the first two books, they didn't really resonate with me. I like my science fiction neat with no fantasy mixers, and Gabriel Sullivan, the hero, comes across to me as something of a superman. In strong contrast, Philip Guthrie is a very fallible human being. 


Hope’s Folly is a love story, set in a time of political conflict and approaching war. The human Empire is being run by Tage, who has usurped the power of a weak and failing Emperor. Tage has decimated the ranks of the Admiralty, replacing senior fleet officers with people more likely to dance to his tune. But not everybody is going quietly. A rebel Alliance has risen to oppose Tage. Amidst the turmoil, the two alien species in the Galaxy see their opportunity to expand their own borders.

When the story opens we meet Admiral Philip Guthrie, who escaped the purge of the Admiralty by the skin of his teeth. He’s 45 years old, with a shattered right leg healing slowly and the weight of the deaths of many colleagues on his conscience. Tage used Guthrie to plan his purge. Now, Guthrie is determined to join with other Alliance leaders to build a new fleet and defeat Tage’s Imperial forces. But the Empire wants him dead and the Farosians want to capture him to swap him for their own leader, who Tage has imprisoned. On top of all that, Guthrie’s new flagship is a very old ex-fleet cruiser which was disarmed, decommissioned and used as a freighter, and he has to enlist a crew from wherever he can, knowing some of them will be plants.

Lieutenant Rya Bennton is the daughter of Guthrie’s captain and mentor, back in the day. A 29 year-old Imperial Security assassin, she turned rebel when her father was killed in that purge. She’s no dolly bird, tall and built with curves and a lovely ass – and a spare thirty pounds she could afford to lose. She remembers meeting Guthrie when she was a pudgy 9 year old and he was a 25 year old lieutenant who showed her how to fire a laser pistol. She, like Guthrie, has a love bordering on obsession for hand weapons. The description when Rya first sees Guthrie’s Norlack laser rifle is a wonderful piece of innuendo. In this scene, too, we see the connection between the two, the way they think alike.

“Is this,” she asked hesitantly, “what I think it is?”
“What do you think it is?”
“Norlack 473 sniper, modified to handle wide-load slash ammo.” There was a noticeable reverence in her voice.
He pulled the rifle out, hefting it. She had a good eye. Norlacks weren’t common. But recognizing it was modified for illegal and highly destructive charges … Then again, she’d seen it in action. “It is,” he confirmed, amused now by the expression on her face. It had gone from reverence to almost rapture.
“That is so totally apex.” Her voice was hushed. “May I,” and she glanced shyly at him, her eyes bright, spots of color on her cheeks, “fondle it?”
He stared at her, not sure he heard her correctly. Then he snorted, laughing. Fondle it, indeed. He handed it to her. She took it, cradling it at first, then running her fingers lovingly down its short barrel. Sweet holy God. He didn’t have enough painkillers in him to stop his body’s reaction to the smokiness in her eyes, or the way her lips parted slightly, the edge of her tongue slipping out to moisten them, as her hands slid over the weapon.

Ahem. Back to the review.

The love story between these two is gorgeous. Rya keeps insisting she has a huge crush on her commanding officer – that’s all. What would he see in her, anyway? And that thirty pounds… Guthrie keeps realising that not only is he too old for her, but he has a duty to her father’s memory to protect her, not lust after her. He also has to get his almost defenceless ship past Farosian raiders and Imperial warships, regardless of Rya and a broken leg. But circumstances fling them (often quite literally) together in what used to be Rya’s father’s ship as Guthrie tries to build a cohesive team from a bunch of disparate people who don’t know each other. And one of them is a mole.

So why did this story grab me and not let go?

Because it’s so real. In Linnea Sinclair’s universe the ships are not run by all-powerful artificial intelligences. To me, they’re not much different from what we have now, with engine rooms, weapons systems and the all-important environment systems all run using computers but with people running the show. Guys get to cut code, hack, mess about in the systems. The ships have blast doors. The pipes gurgle and knock, metal pings as it cools, or creaks and groans. Everything smells – hot engine oil, leather, soap, food, hair. The ex-freighter has a ghostly smell of oranges that comes and goes. And then there’s the cat. Captain Folly, who comes with the ship, leaves white fur all over the place and prefers women to men.

The people are real. Guthrie is tall, smart, the son of a rich family (which has its own drawbacks). But he’s not a superman. He makes mistakes, has his own foibles, calls himself a Galactic-class ass on more than one occasion. I’ve mentioned Rya’s issues with her weight. She’s also impulsive and not much good at saying ‘sir’. The secondary characters are just as convincing, ordinary people forced to cope with extraordinary circumstances.

The politics is real. I have a history degree and these things matter to me. I can see the Empire disintegrating in this way. If I were to be asked for a similar situation in our recent past, I’d go for Stalin taking over in the USSR.

As always with Linnea Sinclair, things move apace – except for the opening chapter, which I enjoyed more the second time around. This is the third book of a series and the first chapter orientates the reader, I guess. From there on, the author works on the basis of ‘if things can go wrong, they will go wrong’. Guthrie’s relationship with Rya plays as an underlying complication to all the other issues the two face. Take out the romance, and yes, you’d still have a great story. But man, you’d miss out on soooo much.

Oh, and before I finish, I must mention the sex scenes. They’re not many and they’re intense, steamy and sensual, but not a how-to manual.

I loved this book, I loved Philip Guthrie. He is very definitely my kind of man. Sigh. I’m too old to be a fangirl. Five stars.

Author site: Linnea Sinclair - Interstellar Adventure Infused with Romance

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Greta van der Rol loves writing action-packed adventures with a side salad of romance. Most of her work is space opera, but she has written paranormal and historical fiction.

She lives not far from the coast in Queensland, Australia and enjoys photography and cooking when she isn't bent over the computer. She has a degree in history and a background in building information systems, both of which go a long way toward helping her in her writing endeavours. 

Find out more about Greta and her books at her website.