I couldn't help the title. When I was thinking of how to start this post the first thought that came into my mind was the fortune cookie joke. You know, adding "in bed" to the end of the fortune. "You will meet a new friend...in bed", "A surprise will greet you...in bed" and so on and so forth...
Well, AR record met. I've managed to derail my post before it even really started. Let's see if I can get back on track. Or even get on track to begin with.
Any-who. Sex. In Space. Science of. Got it.
I was working on my current WIP and one of the storylines entails two people travelling in a small transport, which has no gravity. (I can talk my fictional brain into believing people will figure out artificial gravity in big vessels but I just can't get it to justify artificial gravity in a small transport.)
In this subplot, the two characters become attracted to each other. I began to write in a love scene and no matter how many times and ways I started, it wouldn't mesh. In zero gravity, all the smooth moves of the foreplay and well, the act, are gone.
He goes in for the kiss and as their lips meet, she floats back into the small transports wall and bangs her head. She leans in to kiss his neck and they both go twirling out of control. He brushes her arm and fights to keep from drifting away.
Ugh...that would get old fast. Making love should be natural and if you're spending the whole time fighting thoe whole "equal opposite reaction" thing to stay physically connected, it'll break that spark of emotional and sexual connection.
Romance needs weight. All those subtle and arousing moves that lead to a rewarding night needs gravity. Yes, their eyes can meet, the flirtatious comments can be bantered, but beyond that it becomes awkward.
Intercourse itself faces challenges. There's no natural way in space for the body to manage its heat, which causes people to perspire more in zero gravity. That leads to hot sex...literally.
And you think that challenge is awkward? Remember that gravity is what drives blood circulation. You get where I'm going with this. The male will face...Oh, how to put it?...a minor decrease in performance ability.
So, in the future of zero-g, love scenes might just end up being a pragmatic experience. The flirtation will lead to the very detached discussion of:
"You want to have intercourse?"
"That sounds enjoyable"
"Okay, well let's move to the intercourse anchor bag and turn up the AC."
"Okay, but don't forget the Viagra."
"Oh yeah. And the motion sickness pills."
* * * * *
A.R. Norris
*laughs*
ReplyDeleteOh, the horror... the humanity... the...
*falls off chair laughing*
Oh, this is hilarious! The things you don't think of until you try to write it. But I can see how gravity is a must for doing the deed. LOL
ReplyDeleteI know!
ReplyDeleteLOL. What will we do if we can't figure this out?? This should be on the top of NASA's things to solve. (I sure hope those rumors about NASA's space sex experiments are true.)
Just in case we Brigaders should prepare a "Call to Action" letter to the president.
Love this post. Too funny. I will say maybe you can use the obstacle of zero-gravity to delay the love scene and build sexual tension. No reason the humor of the situation can't bring the characters closer together emotionally.
ReplyDeleteI like that idea better than the solution I thought up, Allie.
ReplyDeleteI changed it up and went with the "did they or didn't they?" approach.
(Just so you know, I'm stealing your idea. I'll make a nice funny scene of them trying and coming to the reality of "not going to work" and then let the sexual tension build.)
Thanks!
I can see I've definitely been missing something by not reading sci fi. You've tempted me to get my act together and find out what really happens in those spaceships.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Love your sense of humor!
Yay! Another SFR reader capture from my devious and nafarious schemes and plots...mwuahahahhaha!!
ReplyDeleteCome to the dark and sometimes questionable side, Paisley!
ROFL! Lovit!
ReplyDeleteThere is someone who actually experimented with um...er..."sex suits" that could be velcroed together...and then tested them in a zero-G flight. (Didn't work real well, BTW!)
You said: "You get where I'm going with this. The male will face...Oh, how to put it?...a minor decrease in performance ability."
Rumor is that weightlessness actually had the OPPOSITE effect on one of our astronauts. He..uh...wouldn't need the Viagra! LOL
And Paisley...I think you've just been assimilated! :)
Lmao, I'm glad I had my couple planet-bound when they decided to get together. Might make for a great scifi spoof I guess. :D
ReplyDeleteYou guys are killin' me here. I promised Gail I would read her stories and now I cannot wait. I can see I've definitely been missing out. I always go for the historicals so this is definitely going to open my world. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLOLOL! That's all I got. LOLOL!
ReplyDeleteOTOH, I'm willing to volunteer if we get to choose the partner...
ReplyDelete;)
XD
I am so pleased the books I write have no zero-g issues...
ReplyDeleteOtherwise...sex? Zero. Gee.